Night and Day

Night:
“A perfect naked moon and still something is missing, isn’t it”. That was a surprise statement by Ertyaas……She seemed to be in a somber mellowy mood today, for she always talked about hope and today she seemed to be standing on the dark side of the world (or may be i thought that way)…. It was a perfect moon view from my Dar-es-Salam apartment balcony today though i missed the moon rising from the sea. The moon was coloring the whole sea in her own yellow color, and there was one ship made of lights completing the whole portrait like a mole on her infinite white beauty.
The song playing on my stereo was some thing like “Chand niklay , kissee janib teree zaibaayee kaa, rang budly kissee surat,shub-e-tanhai kaa ( Wish the moon of your subtle beauty rises, on a certain sky, Wish the color changes, in some way of this lonely night). (Click play if you are in mood of listening this beautiful song)

‘Every thing is there what one needs, but you are still not happy’, she said in a manner as if it is not a question but a subtle expressionistic understanding about someone or as if she is asking her ownself, thinking loudly… I am still wondering if she asked a question or was it just a loud thinking. I reluctantly said ,” i am happy, who says i am not, see! I am having such a nice little place here , the best apartment in town along the sea, the best car, a job of my liking, am traveling, seeing the world, who says i am not happy, see even the moon comes to visit me in my balcony….. She smiled and said, “i must say you do not belong here, you belong to the wilderness, to the mountains, the desert….. the red lakes and the bamboo forests are waiting for you , how come you expect a wind to feel existence without moving….you are like a wind, you do not exist if you are not in moving, and you think you are happy?? Look at the moon, you will hate her if she is standing right in-front of you forever, you will hate me if I keep happening to you, you need to move my dear……

Day:
Perhaps she initiated the songs of rainmaking, perhaps i see rain happening within me, for the day was all cloudy, the so fully naked moon was gone into hiding, and the usually calm beach waves were making more then usual noises. There was this smell of wet dust and green leaves mingling and rumbling their way into my senses.
I took a deep cold breath and thought about the discussion we had in the night. Am i really not existing the way i should exist? Is my existential self waking up again after a long deep slumber? or is it that no body is there to sing me a lullaby or am i still dreaming…..Are the winds of change bringing the orders for me to move and become a wind again?
I said to myself, I won’t be able to live in denial for long of me not being there, won’t be able to resist my inner calling for long…. and may be the time is here now already knocking on my heart to start a new journey; in search of you, in search of me.

It started raining!