Identity visualized

She has such a different way of looking at things, making me fall for her more and more as my age goes by. Anyways that was just my emotional outburst, but finally me and Ertyaas after a long time did a real collaborative work together on defining my identity, which she thinks is something people are starting to mingle up in this globalized-terrorized-hypnotized world.
All the thinking work I left to her, and all the logical rationality I kept for myself and together we were able to put in some thing really tangible this time. Sometimes I think she is slowly filling the right empty side of my brain, taking all the powers to dance her thinking into my unknowns, and I wish someday she can force my left logical part of the brain out, so I become all hers.

She says it is very important to visualize our identity(something becoming so complex these days) and specially in techni-color cinemascope, she wanted to emphasize that its only the color of personal liking we choose for ourselves and not defining good and bad extremes .She said this is important for me to understand my transitions, and nothing to do with telling the rest of the world of who i am. Off-course, she jokingly added,’you know its always good to play with open cards. 🙂 ‘

We managed to reduce to four extreme axis identities to map my identity inclinations and their changes over the age.But as usual she wanted to clear out the the meaning of words for me. She explained something like this

Land vs. Country: A country is an area surrounded by man-made or time-made historical boundaries, where we are either born or living or forced to live in any given instant of time. On the other hand Land she defined as a place where we have spent most of our life, where we have made memories, friends and contributed, or in the least where we feel more closed to. She was very adamant to distinguish between these two identities which most of us mix up she says, specially the expats and immigrants.

Race Vs. Humanity:The second axis group was Race vs. Humanity. The question she put was ,do I identify myself more with a race(color,language,family,even sex etc) or as a human being. Am i a middle-eastern, sub-continent dweller, or a globalized being which we can call Human in most general sense. Am i a swede by my way of living or an african or an arab.

Stomach Vs. Heart: Being very concerned about my brain who is running here and there for no reason, she gave an analogy: think of your self as a car, your brain as your driver, your stomach as the need for petrol and the heart your desire to reach a certain place. Now see how much you identify with moving the car from one petrol station to another and how much you drive towards your heart destination. And at any given age how much your brain was serving either of the two.

Religion Vs Self: She thinks religious identity is all about identifying with all the causes that sees our existence, our life, as a part of a greater whole and our reasons for living in serving to be part of that greater whole. On the other hand Self she says is defined as an awareness of one’s own existence, ones own unique identity that allows us to see a whole universe within ourselves and allows us to run it in our own deemed way. Now that was a bit tough thing for me to differentiate, specially that after meeting her i have forgotten my self pretty much now(at least i think so), but i think i got the point.

So here is my Identity visualized over different ages of my life time and presented in techni-color. Actually it came out much better then what i expected, and made me see myself clearly. I named it Erty’s wheel which she amended Erty’s wheel salmanized (it was another second long time when somebody adjectified my name)

Another project she wants me to do now, is to make an Aspiration’s wheel. I think deep in her heart she wants to see if I am more inclined towards the Blondes or the Burgundy-s, something i wont be telling her so easily…… 🙂

P.S: If someone is interested in getting this excel based graph to map his/her own identity, please send me an email and i will love to share…..