Remember, Remember, the 5th of September

5th September 2008….An other day passed in my human life. Wondering around the streets of Stockholm, i finally settled on a bench in front of Strut-Gallerian near Kungsgatan Ostermalmstorg, and allowed my self again to break into those tiny pieces of my intangible but solid existence…..these pieces, “memories”, “emotions”,
“destiny”, to name a few; all having their own lives and their own deaths and all detached from each other like the crowd i see now on this busy street… all in pursuit of their own happiness. The “Memory”, thinking about all the people I want to remember and all i don’t want to remember and trying to find happiness in both….. “Emotions” exiting me of doing the unknown for unknown reasons, reaching the extremes…. and “destiny” out of her old habit climbing the top roof and seeing the whole dancing show of mine with my tiny crowd go by……….and i don’t know why the “question” piece of mine was silent today, asking nothing, saying nothing, and all listening………………….I gathered this crowd of mine to walk around the known streets of Stockholm…. “Memory” seeing the same Irish pub where i danced like hell a year ago…..the central station where Tania said goodbye…… and the small coffee shop in Gamlastan where I started to feel schizophrenic in seeing you…where you said I have to love the whole world to love her and not knowing the meanings then i secretly promised my self to love the world…..where you said you want to hold the world in the palm of your hands and I secretly promised myself to become that world for you, ……. aah, the “Memory” got disappeared in the streets of Gamlastan and emotions took over, I ordered a coffee without sugar for their was still sweetness of you around the whole place and i remembered saying you “coffee tastes bitter when you are not in love”…. and i ordered another one to assure my self of that…………..

Another day passed in my human life, living with all these nostalgic schizophrenic thoughts and the dreams of being the whole world, and then to see it in grains of sand…..and a feeling of tedium is gradually increasing within me like a viral disease and i think sooner or later i have to let go of this habit of thinking and creating these artificial worlds and start treading on the real one ….. If I am ever to believe in a real world again…………….