Mastering the art of giving….

“But why can one not start to love someone after marriage” , my little remaining not so western part of soul asked her . Ertyaas gave me a very long smiling gaze, the gaze she seldom gives, and after a long smiling silence said, “ your soul is too small to understand that sort of great love, you will be blown away with that sort of love my dear, its not for the fainthearted” , and she laughed long after that. I was confused as usual by the way she gazed at me and more confused on what she was saying, for we normally always differ on every discussion and here a westerner was trying to keep my dying easternism alive. She was the most independent girl I had met so far in my life, free in her thoughts, in her lifestyle, in her relationships and it was very odd on the way she was romanticizing arranged marriages. I resisted a bit, “but it is not possible to force one’s self to love some one, specially someone we donot know, is it..” and she interrupted “ you should not think like that my friend, you need to understand the basics first, if you are clear on the basics , the rest of the story will be simple, we westerners donot understand this simple thing, we become so obsessed with our individual values and liberty that somewhere down the line we forget that love is not about individual values or finding a comfortable partner to live freely, we westerners think love is all about finding the right guy to whom we can connect on a same level, not knowing love is all about a journey into the unknown, a learning of lifetime about basic human existence, understanding the basic atomic structure of soul, learning to increase our love piece by piece, particle by particle, and learning to move all these tiny particles in our human conscious-ness into a pattern we call dancing and while doing so understanding our basic reasons of living ….and believe me my friend, learning and understanding does not come from the people we share our comfort zone with. Love is all about mastering the art of giving in the most difficult way possible, and what more better way can be with an arranged marriage to start that journey…. ”. She made me speechless again……