Inner most desires…

Its funny, whenever I ask someone what his/her inner most desire is, they always tell me of their fears. Then I have to correct them, telling, I am not asking about their inner most fears but inner most desires. Is it something to do with the uncertain times we are living in, that people have forgotten the difference between desires and fears, or is it the fear taking over our inner most pure desires like a virus, to the extent that we have forgotten the difference….

It was Ertyaas, who asked me the same question first time, about what my inner most desire is. I still remember we were sitting in a small cave cafe somewhere in central turkey few years back. A big Nargilla(sheesha) with a mint flavor was burning in the middle and somewhere far we could hear Sazen aksu singing ‘Izmir Yaniyor’. I too made the same mistake, telling her about my FOMO (fear of missing out), of not doing things in this life, and she smiled and asked me again’ what is your inner most desire and not fears’ stressing on the words ‘most inner desires’ and asking me to think a bit before answering…. I donot remember what i said exactly at that time, but it was something to do with traveling or adventure.

Now years later, with memories from 30 countries and a lot of fulfilled desires… from traveling to  falling from the skies, breathing deep in the seas, swimming with fishes bigger then me and doing a lot of crazy things, I am once again in turkey…. listening to same sezen aksu’s Izmir Yaniyor… (grubun rengi boyarken bile sahili turuncuya ) watching the sun coloring the shore into orange … the desire factory in my heart is still creating desires, and my mind is still warning me with fears….. And I am still trying to find, what my inner most desire is…

PS:
Listen to sezen’s Izmir Yaniyor at below
http://youtu.be/FhWVLvidlO8

English translation of the song on the link below
http://www.allthelyrics.com/forum/turkish-lyrics-translation/67245-ferhat-gocer-izmir-yaniyor.html