#Blog
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Hopes , fears, love , guns ….. Choices.
“I dont know how it happened that I the admirer of logic and rational thinking became obsessed with the world of feelings and hopes and love and beauty” I said to Ertyass. She smiled and said ” And you still worry about taking this decision? ” We were sitting in a beach bar in a nice big costa rican’s resort enjoying tacos with Guacamole dips and black bean souce with Zacapa. It was my first trip in the Caribbeans and i was already feeling at home in the lovely world where Marquez’s butterflies were flying, Neruda’s cherry blossom was happening and every created thing looks like Octavio’s fountains of water……
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Mt. Kilimanjaro . Love you all from the top of Africa
It is day two of my ascent to Kilimanjaro, and I am remembering what Ertyaas said to me earlier .We were sitting in Dar Cafe two days before the climb when she said “To climb a mountain is like being in love with a strong woman….you want to be on the top (on the top she smiled) but you face allot of tears and rain, thunders and anger, rock slides and constant struggle to continue moving and reach the top… and at times one thinks why the hell I am doing this all, is it really worth all the effort? just for that bloody mountain, that woman … but she…
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The wedding night (Sheb-e-Arus)
For no apparent reason today i immersed my self with the Oudh and sandalwood oil i bought from the perfume souq in Dubai, and burned the incense all over my apartment .No apparent reason, just an urge coming from the hidden corners of my heart. And then i found out that today is 17th December, the wedding night of my beloved Rumi…..How can i forget that. I have to prepare for the “Sema” and I thought i should do it on a much bigger scale this time within my mind. (The sema is a ritual followers of Rumi perform to celebrate Rumi’s reunion with his beloved). So little by little,…
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Work Hard…Party Hard…Moonlight…
Running… Running…Running…. as if playing a video game where all the monsters are supposed to be killed, and only one life line left…. running,running notstop!…this office stuff, that meeting… this offer, those targets….we run and run and run forgeting totally about the absurdity of wasting our prime time of lives in helping someone make more money…harder, even harder… running fast, unknowingly, un consciously ,(Abba’s money money money flashing in the brains!…)) too innocently our habitual state of living letting us fall into a dark abyss; for what is darkness but a feeling of unknowing-ness that can make us shiver even in the broad daylight….. falling like a sky dive in…
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Traditions… Gender…. Equality
Last week we had good discussions on gender equality and how it affects traditions and at the end I was thinking we both were talking about two different sides of the same coin. She was talking more about fighting for one’s rights and I was more of romanticizing the imaginition-practices one associate himself with, and though everything is fair in love and war but that doesn’t mean love and war are the same things. She was insistent that women should be given even opportunities, and in sweden still most of the C-level and management level positions are held by men. I was of the veiw that although women should be…
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Dreams…
Aaah! the world of dreams… What a world… no body wants to come out it if inside, and no body allowed to enter once he wakes up no matter how hard he tries to stop the lights entering into the door of his eyes …. So it is in this world where the first time i found my self talking to you, in a room ful of smoky noises and dancing shadows. I didnot remember who you were,where was I and how I happened to be talking to you…it was as if I was talking to you for ages, as if I was just born in that fixed setting for…
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Samsara
I am becoming more and more engulfed with the lures of my physical senses these days. I become easily disturbed by the changing smells around as if these little yellow butterflies are hitting my nose reminding me of old memories and lonely moments, the other day i prefered to hear the slow buzzing of the sea and waited long to see the moon rising from the sea from my apartment, preferring the disgust of waiting for the moon more then waiting for my lazy existence to turn off the mute television showing meaningless images. Is it something to do with my living in africa for so long….Africa where the sense…
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Smelling the imaginition
We were walking in the long Dubai airport transit lounge when i see the shop selling perfumes and told her ” I want to learn making perfumes, someday” “You know their are more astronauts in the world then their are perfumers” said Ertyaas” “Yes, i know, but somehow i am beginning to enjoy these fragrances” “you have to start from the very basics i think, my dear”, she said and added..”First rule, stop infatuating with all the perfumes from these big fashion house and celebrity name brands…. specially the ones who were selling clothes and started selling these beautiful bottles carrying empty smells to make more money.” “That’s not fair…
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August….Partition…Heroshima…Independance
When I say ‘Hiroshima;, Will people gently respond ‘Ah Hiroshima’? When I say ‘Hiroshima, I hear ‘Pearl Harbor.’ When I say ‘Hiroshima, I hear ‘Chinese Nanking Massacre.’ “What is she trying to say?”,I asked the Japanese lady sitting next to me in an event remembering Hiroshima with some poetry recitals, and she replied ,”that was another partition happened somewhere in the far far east in the same month of august, the only difference is you people celebrate on the death of 500,000 people and millions de-homed and we drop a tear every august in remembrance of all the same number of stories that died,and this poem is describing the views…
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Imagining Japan from Africa
I am watching a Japanese tv channel (NHK world) alot these days. It all started when my satellite TV connection expired due to non payment and i for some reason wanted not to watch the hundreds of channels anymore and convinced my self instead to watch the only Japanese free channel coming. Strange, how the whole world starts to dance in the ‘palm of our hands’; me sitting in Africa, away from my land , and getting obsessed with a another culture of a land even farther away. I am beginning to love this channel and the whole Japanese culture in particular. The channel undertones are so serene, so objectively…
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Smells, sounds, Imagination
I was wondering if it is the imagination we associate to a certain music or smell which changes it to a music of longing, or a fragrance of subtle remembrance of life. Or is it in these invisible singing birds carrying fragrances from old times and far off places which reminds us of our mute existence and paint our imagination in their own colors…Yesterday Ertyaas was preparing a potpourri with alot of dry Champa flowers she collected from near by tree, grounded fresh cloves and cinnamon from the Zanzibar island and local sea salt. She imagines the five petals of the Champa flower as the five phases of women (Birth,…
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A sea and a river
She draws strange comparison sometimes and that’s what she did today saying, “to say a sea is to river as solitude is to loneliness is pretty much true” . We were on our ferry back from an island nearby Dar-es salam city, the turquoise Dar sea was glimmering in its usual bright colors,with small waves riding here and there, and we were discussing my recent trip to turkey and the novel by Elif shafak i recently read on the life of Rumi, when she drew this comparison.“And how come you make such a comparison, for i don’t even think there is a difference between loneliness and solitude” I asked.“Well you…
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Liquid Music
“So, my life is in your hands” , I said to erty, who was my buddy for my first dive in the open indian ocean around Dar-es-salam… she said, “don’t worry, in best case, you will die hearing liquid music all around you…” And so it was….a liquid musical world in bluescope, all around me…. though i survived the bliss…The whole episode started on a light conversation with erio and her daughter and I saw my impulsive instincts seeing myself nodding in approval even before my rational self started to think…. my sister was wining over me of doing this first somewhere in Australia and i was looking for settling…
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Women… Fiction… stockholm… More coffee..
” You know, a gentleman always allows a lady to maintain her own fiction” she said It was an unusually pleasant sunny day in Sweden and we were drinking coffee in one of the street cafés when we saw a woman passing by with tears for obvious and only reasons and Ertyass commented on her, in her usual unique style. “Come on! Give me a break” I said, “are you suggesting women live their lives artificially, knowing that they are living in fiction?” I asked. “Well it’s a matter of perspective; fiction can be as real as reality depending on how much feeling or tangibility you can give to it.…
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A jewish Coffee, with love
I drink coffee after a very long time and a very good one indeed. Was in Stockholm Sweden a night before and a colleague of mine took me to one of the small cafes in the gatans near stureplan (gatan is streets in swedish). The coffee was made by a very friendly jew who, with his long beard would have been mistaken by a taliban if he is not wearing his kippah cap and tzitzit robes and not to forget the naive smile……. He brewed the grounded coffee with as much love and care, as if he is creating a piece of art, slowly leveling and pressing the grounded coffee…
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My country – A sad piece of art……
Ok i am going to say it…………….. I am not a religious person, least of all a nationalist, but something in my heart broke of what happened in my country this week. Call it my inflamed sense of nothingness or de-flamed sense of identity but I felt as if i was made naked with the tiny helicopters hovering around with spotlights and capturing my nakedness. I felt tangible sadness in the air for my land, my painting… One needs to see my land as as a painting or a piece of art and not as work of science, if they really want to understand it. You cannot study it by…
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A fashionable idea
Every human being, every one of us, lives his/her life in an IDEA, or a set of ideas. These ideas that binds him/her in the social fabric around her as well as keeps him/her staying alive with some distant goals to live for. We are nothing but mere proponents and adherents of these ideas that we are in-love with in different phases of our lives, and all our lives, all we do is just refining these ideas.No matter what rational or logical reasoning or explanations we give to ourselves, it is the love of these ideas blossoming in the deep infinity of our minds that drives our conscious awareness in…
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About Journeys in life
There is yet another journey , i know deep in my heart that i have to take. A journey not even started, but is already creating most of the bubbles sparkling in the watery heart of mine. I know i have to prepare alot even to take the first step, even to think of taking the first step and being fearfully bored about it even more to pass through the whole cycle …..perhaps the most difficult to reach the finish line and stop and return, and yet i am thinking WTF , why to go all the way when I can already imagine all the moments of accomplishments and joys…
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On Ghosts and other demons….
“Your mind is full of emotional ghosts” she said in a way as if that is the root cause of all my problems. “And what do you mean by that I asked. ‘Well you see ghosts breathe in the past but live in the present, just like these tiny ghosts in the form of old memories trying to breathe their imagination in your past but stubbornly determined to live in the present narrow alleys of your mind’s grey matter, and you know that is the problem with your country and countrymen as well…too many ghosts breathing from the past air” “Well if that is the case why do you think…
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Identity visualized
She has such a different way of looking at things, making me fall for her more and more as my age goes by. Anyways that was just my emotional outburst, but finally me and Ertyaas after a long time did a real collaborative work together on defining my identity, which she thinks is something people are starting to mingle up in this globalized-terrorized-hypnotized world.All the thinking work I left to her, and all the logical rationality I kept for myself and together we were able to put in some thing really tangible this time. Sometimes I think she is slowly filling the right empty side of my brain, taking all…
