-
A jewish Coffee, with love
I drink coffee after a very long time and a very good one indeed. Was in Stockholm Sweden a night before and a colleague of mine took me to one of the small cafes in the gatans near stureplan (gatan is streets in swedish). The coffee was made by a very friendly jew who, with his long beard would have been mistaken by a taliban if he is not wearing his kippah cap and tzitzit robes and not to forget the naive smile……. He brewed the grounded coffee with as much love and care, as if he is creating a piece of art, slowly leveling and pressing the grounded coffee…
-
My country – A sad piece of art……
Ok i am going to say it…………….. I am not a religious person, least of all a nationalist, but something in my heart broke of what happened in my country this week. Call it my inflamed sense of nothingness or de-flamed sense of identity but I felt as if i was made naked with the tiny helicopters hovering around with spotlights and capturing my nakedness. I felt tangible sadness in the air for my land, my painting… One needs to see my land as as a painting or a piece of art and not as work of science, if they really want to understand it. You cannot study it by…
-
A fashionable idea
Every human being, every one of us, lives his/her life in an IDEA, or a set of ideas. These ideas that binds him/her in the social fabric around her as well as keeps him/her staying alive with some distant goals to live for. We are nothing but mere proponents and adherents of these ideas that we are in-love with in different phases of our lives, and all our lives, all we do is just refining these ideas.No matter what rational or logical reasoning or explanations we give to ourselves, it is the love of these ideas blossoming in the deep infinity of our minds that drives our conscious awareness in…
-
About Journeys in life
There is yet another journey , i know deep in my heart that i have to take. A journey not even started, but is already creating most of the bubbles sparkling in the watery heart of mine. I know i have to prepare alot even to take the first step, even to think of taking the first step and being fearfully bored about it even more to pass through the whole cycle …..perhaps the most difficult to reach the finish line and stop and return, and yet i am thinking WTF , why to go all the way when I can already imagine all the moments of accomplishments and joys…
-
On Ghosts and other demons….
“Your mind is full of emotional ghosts” she said in a way as if that is the root cause of all my problems. “And what do you mean by that I asked. ‘Well you see ghosts breathe in the past but live in the present, just like these tiny ghosts in the form of old memories trying to breathe their imagination in your past but stubbornly determined to live in the present narrow alleys of your mind’s grey matter, and you know that is the problem with your country and countrymen as well…too many ghosts breathing from the past air” “Well if that is the case why do you think…
-
Identity visualized
She has such a different way of looking at things, making me fall for her more and more as my age goes by. Anyways that was just my emotional outburst, but finally me and Ertyaas after a long time did a real collaborative work together on defining my identity, which she thinks is something people are starting to mingle up in this globalized-terrorized-hypnotized world.All the thinking work I left to her, and all the logical rationality I kept for myself and together we were able to put in some thing really tangible this time. Sometimes I think she is slowly filling the right empty side of my brain, taking all…
-
Mastering the art of giving….
“But why can one not start to love someone after marriage” , my little remaining not so western part of soul asked her . Ertyaas gave me a very long smiling gaze, the gaze she seldom gives, and after a long smiling silence said, “ your soul is too small to understand that sort of great love, you will be blown away with that sort of love my dear, its not for the fainthearted” , and she laughed long after that. I was confused as usual by the way she gazed at me and more confused on what she was saying, for we normally always differ on every discussion and…
-
Traveling Desires
Am thinking for quite some time, if there is a far far remote possibility that the desires and wishes from our fathers and forefathers may have the ability to travel through the genes and are still alive some where in a dark hidden corner of our DNA code? Off-course there is alot of instinctive behavior that we humans do instinctively, like craving for eating, copulating, survival stuff but i am not talking about that and I am also not talking about the desires that the parents associate with their sons and and daughters.I am talking about the desires that one wishes for him self, I am talking about all the…
-
Trilemma
I am standing now on crossroads, in a serious acute trilemma. I am seeing three clear paths to choose from for my future life and the irony is my heart is divided for all three. A long time back Ertyass asked me of why it is not possible to love 2 persons and the whole world at the same time, i was naive and emotional back then but while standing on this cross road right now, i am remembering her words. I want to live all these three lives that i define but my heart is equally divided. The tiny hearts within my heart city are lobbying based on their…
-
Night and Day
Night:“A perfect naked moon and still something is missing, isn’t it”. That was a surprise statement by Ertyaas……She seemed to be in a somber mellowy mood today, for she always talked about hope and today she seemed to be standing on the dark side of the world (or may be i thought that way)…. It was a perfect moon view from my Dar-es-Salam apartment balcony today though i missed the moon rising from the sea. The moon was coloring the whole sea in her own yellow color, and there was one ship made of lights completing the whole portrait like a mole on her infinite white beauty.The song playing on…
-
Lions…Family…India..Politics…Dolphins
With torches in our hands, me and my newly acquainted family member Sobi were going towards our camp when we saw three lions just few meters away from our tent. The torches were more to see any wild beast around then to find the way in the dark jungle, and we unluckily saw what we did not wanted to see. It is so strange, sometimes we look around just to ‘not to see’ what we donot ‘want to see” and assuring ourselves of being in control of only that frozen moment in the ambiance around, knowing in our hearts only that every coming moment is as uncontrollable, and this was…
-
Haunted house
A house which remains empty for a while often becomes a haunted place for the ghosts to live. Perhaps that has happened to me too, but the worst thing to imagine is am I becoming habitual of living with these ghosts ? these ghosts, these intangible invisible beings living in the deep corridors of my mind, jumping infront of me all of a sudden, from this smell door or that feeling window, or popping out of the drawer or even inside the fridge whenever i move from one freezing thought to another….. reminding me of their silent presence in most creative ways possible.Sometimes they show up in large numbers, dancing…
-
The longest night
Yesterday 21st december I celebrated the Yalda night with my newly found persian friend and his mother in Dar-es-Salaam. Shab-e-Yalda is the longest night in the year , and for some reason i enjoyed the persian optimism, of the longest night being over and now the days will start growing, the morning will be coming earlier second by second, day by day, everyday…………We started with the dry fruits fresh from persia, followed by water melon and pomegranates, with the Hafiz recitation of peotry singing at the back. And then our friend played with his first love Santoor, filling the room with the persian musical notes . These persian people, they…
-
We are two nations living in one land. who doesnot understand each other
Right in the middle of a lovely hilly city of Kigali in a land locked African country, lies the white building, built to remember the killing of millions. It was my second trip to this country which is also called a country of thousand hills, and i always felt good about the tranquility of the place, but after visiting this white building i was silent and this silence was not a satisfying one. It was the silence asking all of us on to what level of madness we humans can go. The building starts with the pictures and history about the divisions of hutu and tutsi tribe by the Belgians;…
-
Istanbul to Dar
Dear ErtyaasA beautiful apartment facing the enormous indian ocean, a long balcony to look at the passing boats and ships,the rising sun from the depths of the ocean, the sea changing its colors from white to yellow to blue to black and then a silvery white, as if a child is born in the morning and grows old with the moon the same day………… my new nest where i am trying to settle just like a ghost trying to settle up in a big palace, not wanting to be disturbed by the events around, and yet determined to live…… some times i think I too am becoming a ghost, a…
-
Aaj hamara, ya hai tumhara
محبت کھوجتی ھےھمارے آج میں باقیتمھارے آج کا ھونا محبت پوچھتی ھےگزرے ھوے کلوں سےتمھارا آج کیسا ھےھمارا آج کیسا ھےگزارے کل بہت کچھ کہ رھے ھیںمگر ھمارا آجھمارا آج کچھ خاموش سا ھےایک چپ سی سادھ رکھی ھےکسی اٹھارویں صدی کیآئل کینوس سے بنیپورٹریٹ تصویر کی مانند تمھارا آجکے جس میں بسی ھیں خوشبوئیںگزرے کتنے کلوں کیجو اب بھی خبر رکھتا ھےکے کتنے پھول اب بھیاُس کو پانے کو ترستے ھیں ھمارے آج کو دیکھوکا جس نے فقطامید کاغز پرصرف خوشبوں کی تصویریں بنائیں ھیںخیالوں سے ھمارا آجکسے معلومھمارا ھے بھی یہ فقط اپنا سا لگتا ھےیے دیکھو کیسےتمھارے آج سے نظریں چراءےچھپ رھا ھے تمھارا آج دیکھو اب…
-
Black Jack…..
Playing black jack is like passing a complete life in a fast forward…. each card presenting us with options… each hand representing chances and choices… each deal showing how the people around us are reacting to decisions of there lives, enjoying, celebrating the fruits of mere luck or being concerned of loosing what is already there…. and the dealer like a god in real life, in his own humble way, keeps on inciting people to play though having a conviction of wining in the end all what is laid on the table. Is it not so similar to what life is all about, just a bit more slower in passing…
-
لفظ سوچتے ھیں
لفظ سوچتے ھیں لفظ ﺧﻮﺍﮨشوں کا بوجھ اٹھاتے اٹھاتے تھک چکے ہیں چپ بیٹھے ھیں،اب کچھ نھیں کہتے کچی سوچیں کب سے ابل رہی ہیں پکنے کا نام ھی نہیں لیتیں جزبے بھرتے بھرتے زندگی کے غبارے کو پھاڑنے کے قریب ہیں پھر بھی،ہمارے اندر کا بچہ ان سب سے بے پروہ خداؤں والے خواب دیکھنے میں گم رھتا ھے لفظ سوچتے ھیں سوچوں کے جزبات بےقابو ھیں جزبے لفظوں سے بےدل ھو چکے ھیں پر خواھش جانے کس کے انتظار میں زندہ ھے اگر ایک پل کو، ان خواھشوں کا بوجھ ھٹے سوچیں پک کر منطقی انجام کو پہنچیں جزبے ھواؤں میں اُڑیں تو شاید ھمارے اندر کا بچہ…
-
Arlanda International Airport
Written: 2005,Stockholm ﺍﹺﺱ ﻃﺮﺡ ﮨﮯ ﻛﮯﮨﺮ ﺍﻙ ﻣﺴﺎﻓﺮ ﻛﻮﺋﯽ ‘ﺧﻴﺎﻝ’ ﮨﻮ ﺟﻴﺴﮯﻣﺒﺘﻼ ﺍﭘﻨﯽ ﺩﺭﻳﻮﺯﻩ ﮔﺮﯼ ﻣﻴﮟ ﺷﺎﻳﺪﮨﺮ ﺍﹺﻙ ﻟﻤﺤﻪ ﻛﻮﺋﯽ ﮔﻴﺖ ﺑﻨﺎ ﺟﺎﺗﺎ ﮬﻮﺍﻭﺭ ﺟﮩﺎﺫ ‘ﺁﺭﺯﻭﮞ’ ﻛﮯﺭﺍﻩ ﺗﻜﮯ ﺟﺎﺗﮯ ﮨﻮﮞﺍﹺﻥ ﺩﺭﻳﻮﺯﻩ ﮔﺮﻭﮞ ﻛﯽﺍﭘﻨﯽ ﻣﻨﻄﻖ ﻣﻴﮟ ﻣﺤﺒﺖ ﰷ ﺳﮩﺎﺭﺍ ﺑﻨﺘﮯ ﺍﹺﻥ ﺳﺐ ﺧﻴﺎﻟﻮﮞ ﺳﮯ ﺩﻭﺭﺍﹺﻙ ﺗﻨﮩﺎ ﻣﹹﺴﺎﻓﺮ ﺍﻚ ﺍﺩﮬﻮﺭﺍ ﺧﻴﺎﻝﻭﻗﺖ ﻛﻮ ﮔﺎﺗﺎﺍﹸﻣﻴﺪ ﻛﯽ ﺍﹺﻣﻴﺪ ﻣﻴﮟ ﮔﻢﺍﻭﺭ ﭘﮭﺮ ﺍﻣﻴﺪﻛﺴﯽ ﺷﺐ ﮨﺠﺮﺍﮞ ﻛﯽ ﻃﺮﺡﺁﻛﮯ ﻣﻠﮯ ‘ﺻﺒﺢﹺ ﻭﻗﺖ’ ﺳﮯ ‘ﺻﺒﺢﹺ ﻭﻗﺖ’ ﺟﻮ ‘ﻭﻗﺖﹻﺼﺒﺢ’ ﺳﮯ ﮬﻮ ﻛﮩﻴﮟ ﺯﻳﺎﺩﻩ ﺣﺴﻴﮟﺍﻭﺭ ﺍﻙ ﺍﹺﻣﻴﺪ ﺑﮭﺮﯼ ﺁﻭﺍﺯﺁﺭﺯﻭ ﻣﮯ ﮔﺎﺗﮯ ﺧﻴﺎﻝ ﻛﻮﮨﻮﻟﮯ ﺳﮯ ﻛﮩﮯ“Good morning, welcome to the plane Sir!ﺩﻝ ﻛﮩﮯﻭﻗﺖ ﻳﮩﻴﮟ ﺭﻙ ﺟﺎﺋﮯﺍﹸﻣﻴﺪ ﻛﮭﻴﮟ ﻛﮭﻮ ﺟﺎﺋﮯﺍﻭﺭ ﭼﺎﮨﮯ ﺩﻭ ﭘﻞ ﻛﻮ ﺳﮩﯽﺟﺎﻡﹻﺨﻮﺷﯽ ﮬﻮ ﺟﺎﺋﮯ
-
What does it matter!
Written: Turkey,2007 What does it matter!You too big, you cannot see meOrI too small, like an unknown star What does it matter!Finding beauty in youOrBelieving beauty to be you What does it matter!Questioning the existence of GodOrFinding reasons to follow reasons What does it matter!Seeing “ESKI” in you ( ESKI is name of a child, Also ESGI in Turkish mean old)OrSeeing you in “ESKI” What does it matter!I live , or dieStay or GoHappy or SadWith or withoutBecoming you has taken meBeyond these worldly mattersOf whats and nots………………..
